THE AMUSED LIFE BLOG

HE WAS A WORDSMITH Poem by Anna Maria Terlinden Rogers He was a wordsmith. I hold him in a memory. I am beautifully resilient. I have always been. I am blessed by that.  You were my Achilles' heel, the wax I built my wings out of as I tried to fly towards the sun, the shine on those 30 pieces of silver that I betrayed a Messiah for. You were the chink in my armor,  the fruit that I wanted to taste just because I wanted knowledge, the person I would have let cut my hair, allowing you to leave me weak. I am blessed to have survived.  I always do. I am beautifully resilient. I hold him in a memory. He was a wordsmith.

My name is Anna and I live with and manage anxiety based depression. I have probably dealt with symptoms of it since I was 16 years old or from what I can remember. Sadly my memory is often spotty throughout my life. I find that a lot of that spottiness is around traumatic events that I have experienced. Sometimes it's related to increased symptoms of my illness or a "flare up" of the kind that causes the anxiety or depression or both to get to a level that I can manage. At this time in my life I find myself in a few existential quandries that make me feel like I am a huge ball of yarn completely tangled up so perhaps this year is where I begin trying to unravel the tangled mess that is me.  I've struggled my entire life with never feeling "good enough" and sometimes I'm unsure if that feeling is tied in tightly to my illness or just an additional learned script I have running through my brain. I've tied that feeling frequently to people's...

It's a routine I've known for at least 30 years. I know it like I know the feel of each bump on my skin as I rub my arms. A familiar 8 count of part self-flagellation, part-curiosity it's a dance I do in the wee hours of the morning when my mind is still running around like a kid on pixie sticks at a birthday party rental at the dance studio. I point my toes and leap, deep diving into the familiar dance routine and steps...search google, look up "XYZ" and just tap dance through posts to see how life is treating them.  It's when you stumble trying to remember dance steps that you did when you were in your twenties that you realize you're getting too old. The bones hit the floor harder these days and when you come across a post dated 2015 where you are referenced as a "much-needed and much-desired divorce", you realize that the old wounds from your early years still throb a bit every now and then. Mind you, I wasn't completely floored by that ...

I woke up today very early. My significant other and I have a young puppy so that's part of the life at this time. Disturbed sleep. I woke up and just thought well, it's Thanksgiving, let's just be thankful today. I was in a good frame of mind. I had made the decision to just be present today as much as possible. But...in the wee small hours of the morning my always present depression and anxiety had other plans. I went to message a friend of mine. I connect a lot on Facebook so I went into messenger to just let her know I was thinking about her and I couldn't find her. At first I didn't worry, I figured that she and I were both struggling with the election stress and maybe she just went dark for a bit. I get that. I understand taking the mental health break if need be. Alas, she didn't just go dark.  Upon investigation I came to understand that I had a friend in real life that I care about deeply. I would try hard to check on her and send Erik over with various...

A TALE OF TWO COOKIES Fall is in full swing in Tennessee, and the comfort of iced/spiced oatmeal cookies has moved into my mind, so in my budget-minded mentality I was determined to get some deliciousness in my gullet. Right now I'm just trying to get an idea of what store brands really bring the yum to my tum. This week's head-to-head is between Market Pantry's Iced Oatmeal Cookies and Kroger Brand Iced Oatmeal. So who came out on top? FIND Kroger took the prize and unfortunately Erik didn’t take a photo of the packaging but we’ll make that happen soon. They have the right amount of crisp, yet slightly soft and have a good layer of icing that’s sweet and stands out. Plus they were $1.00 this week so...you know that’s too good a deal for good taste! FAIL Market Pantry from Target’s iced oatmeal cookies are not bad at all, but honestly the taste just didn’t stand out. So it was easy for Kroger to take them over. They were much softer than Kroger’s and the iced taste wasn’t v...

FIND There's a new wing joint in town and so far, so really good! It's apparently a chain so see if there's one near you: WINGS OVER...well in my case, WINGS OVER KNOXVILLE ! Another new joint down in the UT campus area, which no doubt will do well given good wings and good tenders. We got the combo meals which gave us 3 tenders, 6 wings and a ton of waffle fries, plus a drink!  While it was a tad pricey at $14.99, they did give you a ton of food so in the end I'm not complaining at all. I opted for the Spicy Lemon Pepper seasoning on the tenders just to give it a shot since I'm not into hot stuff, and Lemon Pepper for the wings. Erik opted for the Jamaican Jerk flavoring across the board. We both downed out dinners with gusto, the woman who ordered was wonderful and the same for the lady who delivered. The wings were big and super flavorful which was great. There blue cheese was a bit overpowered by the wing flavors, but hey I enjoyed the flavors but will forgo the...

FIRST TIME RECIPE ATTEMPTS FOR THIS WEEK: Cheesy Spinach Pesto Flatbread   *****out of 5 Stars! Ina Garten's Baked Shrimp Scampi    *****out of 5 Stars! I've decided to make this more of an open format blog adventure and not feel like I have to "fail" anything per se. So instead I'll focus on the week of culinary adventures in my household. First of all, the two recipes I picked out to try were knock out of the ballpark AMAZING (links are above to the recipes). Seriously, they both were just sensational and the shrimp scampi was even better on day 2. However a word of, ahem...warning. Look, I'm just going to be real. I've been cooking A LOT lately. I've also discovered how much I use garlic in the meals I cook. I LOVE GARLIC. However...if you eat a LOT of garlic (as I have been doing)...your ahem, smelly bits may begin to smell like...GARLIC. Seriously, I was starting to worry that the garlic smell was just imbedded in the air, then I realized it was l...

FIND I love corn. I know it's probably the most nutritional equivalent of air and reminds you you had it later (sorry but it's true); so when I stumbled across this find in my weekly groceries list I decided I needed to try it. If you've never had Mexican Street Corn it's quite a complex load of flavors on the tongue (a mixture of cotija cheese, mayo, sour cream, chile powder and lime and then...more cheese). It's a lot to take in when you eat it on the cob fresh and can get a tad messy as well. So I was pretty hopeful this could fit the bill in a convenient way. It did! The only thing missing is the temperature heat of the grilled corn, but the flavors are robust and there is a slight kick to it that makes you just want more, even if only to try to figure out what that taste flavor is. Trust me, my sig-oth who always turns down random dips actually asked for more than 5 samples because he just had to figure out what that "flavor" was. So if you're loo...