THE AMUSED LIFE BLOG

HE WAS A WORDSMITH Poem by Anna Maria Terlinden Rogers He was a wordsmith. I hold him in a memory. I am beautifully resilient. I have always been. I am blessed by that.  You were my Achilles' heel, the wax I built my wings out of as I tried to fly towards the sun, the shine on those 30 pieces of silver that I betrayed a Messiah for. You were the chink in my armor,  the fruit that I wanted to taste just because I wanted knowledge, the person I would have let cut my hair, allowing you to leave me weak. I am blessed to have survived.  I always do. I am beautifully resilient. I hold him in a memory. He was a wordsmith.

I'm not sure I understand why we do this to each other...as adults. In so many ways, it feels like we are just grown ups who never outgrew high school.  I have been jealous of others and that jealousy has lead me at times to make moves to guard my own heart because I definitely have fomo (fear of missing out), anxiety, depression, abandonment issues and the feeling that no matter what I do, I will NEVER ever be good enough and in full honesty, I have been guilty of blocking people who have hurt me and people involved in certain things that trigger me because at times I have to look at certain parts of my life like they were addictions or toxic relationships.  I have to accept that no matter what, there are going to be a large and sometimes very visible/vocal group of people who rather than work through things with me person to person and come to an understanding or workable position would rather just make me out to be a bad person. Maybe I'm delusional thinking that I'm act...