Originally written for and published in Elephant Journal 12/24/15. I’ve worn only black pants since age 22. Seriously. Black. Friggin’. Pants. No jeans. No noisy corduroys. No fun colorful or patterned stretchy leggings. Black pants. All because I’m in a completely consuming relationship. He’s everything I want and he’s always there when I need him. He’s socially acceptable and gets along with almost everyone. Frankly, most people fall in love with him upon first meeting him. He’s irresistible! I can take the parents and friends to meet him. He makes me smile and lust after him no matter if he’s heated or ice cold—I still want him just as bad. In fact, he slides inside me with such familiarity that I ache when he crosses my lips. It’s that knowing ache. I know I’ll be satisfied. He knows me. He wants to please me. He can be bad and he’s still good. He’s pizza and I have been in an all consuming relationship with him since the age of eight. Perhaps you’ve been in love too? It’s tha...