THE AMUSED LIFE BLOG

I'm not sure I understand why we do this to each other...as adults. In so many ways, it feels like we are just grown ups who never outgrew high school.  I have been jealous of others and that jealousy has lead me at times to make moves to guard my own heart because I definitely have fomo (fear of missing out), anxiety, depression, abandonment issues and the feeling that no matter what I do, I will NEVER ever be good enough and in full honesty, I have been guilty of blocking people who have hurt me and people involved in certain things that trigger me because at times I have to look at certain parts of my life like they were addictions or toxic relationships.  I have to accept that no matter what, there are going to be a large and sometimes very visible/vocal group of people who rather than work through things with me person to person and come to an understanding or workable position would rather just make me out to be a bad person. Maybe I'm delusional thinking that I'm act...

It's a routine I've known for at least 30 years. I know it like I know the feel of each bump on my skin as I rub my arms. A familiar 8 count of part self-flagellation, part-curiosity it's a dance I do in the wee hours of the morning when my mind is still running around like a kid on pixie sticks at a birthday party rental at the dance studio. I point my toes and leap, deep diving into the familiar dance routine and steps...search google, look up "XYZ" and just tap dance through posts to see how life is treating them.  It's when you stumble trying to remember dance steps that you did when you were in your twenties that you realize you're getting too old. The bones hit the floor harder these days and when you come across a post dated 2015 where you are referenced as a "much-needed and much-desired divorce", you realize that the old wounds from your early years still throb a bit every now and then. Mind you, I wasn't completely floored by that ...

Before you say anything. I read tarot, but when I want clarity at times I like to go to another reader to get my mind out of the reading/interpreting work and just let it flow through someone who's not me. It's like counselors seeing other counselors...it's something you SHOULD do. I have to share that I just had what will be my annual reading/guidance session with Ash Mac and I'm going to be going for my check up in 6 months; and I'm honestly honored to spend this time with her. Last year, she met with me right after my car accident and pretty much laid out the landscape ahead with a lot of clarity and I told her that everything fell into place, not like I expected but it was the right thing and what I needed to have happen. [1] If you haven't had a reading from Ash, please consider it. Honestly it's like meeting with someone who genuinely wants the best for you but lays down those cards and gives it to you straight. She's a very cued in and atuned spir...

I woke up today very early. My significant other and I have a young puppy so that's part of the life at this time. Disturbed sleep. I woke up and just thought well, it's Thanksgiving, let's just be thankful today. I was in a good frame of mind. I had made the decision to just be present today as much as possible. But...in the wee small hours of the morning my always present depression and anxiety had other plans. I went to message a friend of mine. I connect a lot on Facebook so I went into messenger to just let her know I was thinking about her and I couldn't find her. At first I didn't worry, I figured that she and I were both struggling with the election stress and maybe she just went dark for a bit. I get that. I understand taking the mental health break if need be. Alas, she didn't just go dark.  Upon investigation I came to understand that I had a friend in real life that I care about deeply. I would try hard to check on her and send Erik over with various...

Today's Spiritual Sunday presented me with a childhood friend requesting a card pull...of course, I would do anything from people who are important to me and I'm honored to do so. So I meditated on her and the blessings that we've reconnected through the positive aspects of Facebook and this is her card pull.  PLAYFULNESS The playfulness card reminds us of our childhood, when we were more free from worries about any impending doom. We built sandcastles in the sand without worrying when the next wave would come and destroy our creations. We remember a time when we knew and realized that life was more of a game than we realized and we chose to life it unashamed without thinking of what anyone else thought.  When this card shows up in your world, it's a sign. It symbolizes that you are ready for something refreshing to come into your life and your world. Something is on the horizon and you are prepared to face it with innocence, joy and clarity...when you proceed in that m...

  This episode of Authentically You we introduce you to the dynamic voice and visionary that is KATHRYN FRADY, who is actively helping to change the cultural landscape of Knoxville, TN and is an artist's artist. Let's connect! Learn More Here: Kathryn Frady Website www.kathrynfradydirector.com Marble City Opera Website www.marblecityopera.com Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/FradyKatSoprano Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/MarbleCityOpera

Expecting it to be...when expectation is the thief of true understanding.  Originally posted on former blog: 05/24/20 I think the hardest thing for me in this life is realizing that I see people for who they are in depth not just their mistakes, their choices, their anger, or their hate at times. I have always been okay EVENTUALLY just letting people go the way they need to after distancing so I could get my head okay with the fact that whatever about what happened wasn't really about me because I know who I am and I know what I try to do is always with the best intentions at heart. However I know that the need to distance at times offends people to the core. I know that people want to make up their minds to just hate someone for the sake of hating them. In the end, that's their burden to bear and I'm sorry they have to live with that always eating them away. I have been judged so many times for doing so many things that people were afraid to do. I have been judged for bein...