Would It Ever Be The Same

WOULD IT EVER BE THE SAME

She wondered if it would ever be the same.

The deep breaths that yielded oxygenated lungs,

but no sweet scent of the things she longed for.

The comfort of the kitchen,

the nisus of her handmade dough,

her home-grown vegetables,

the milkiness of the fresh mozzarella and

the garlic and oregano which she always used abundantly.

Which no longer smelled the same.

No longer sparked her excitement.

The loss of a culinary expectation.

Because we had an communal expectation,

we listened to the spark of excitement from news reporters who

believed we would care for one another and would

do what was right so that the illness would no longer be an issue.

As one of those who's symptoms abundantly lingered on

the milky fog of her brain, dealing with symptoms no one could see.

The illness that was not home-grown

but who's nisus ravaged the world we live in,

leaving no one the comfort of connection,

that robbed so many people of the sweetness of living

and ended the ability to oxygenate once robust lungs.

She wondered if it would ever be the same.

- Anna Maria Terlinden Rogers 01/26/21

Comments

Abandonment, Fear and Thanks

I woke up today very early. My significant other and I have a young puppy so that's part of the life at this time. Disturbed sleep. I woke up and just thought well, it's Thanksgiving, let's just be thankful today. I was in a good frame of mind. I had made the decision to just be present today as much as possible. But...in the wee small hours of the morning my always present depression and anxiety had other plans. I went to message a friend of mine. I connect a lot on Facebook so I went into messenger to just let her know I was thinking about her and I couldn't find her. At first I didn't worry, I figured that she and I were both struggling with the election stress and maybe she just went dark for a bit. I get that. I understand taking the mental health break if need be. Alas, she didn't just go dark. Upon investigation I came to understand that I had a friend in real life that I care about deeply. I would try hard to check on her and send Erik over with various...

What I DIDN'T Set Out to Do with My Life: Polarize

If you've read any of my blog posts or have been through my dips in depression via my Facebook feed, you'll know that I think a LOT about what other people think. I'm trying hard to reverse that tendency but honestly the deprogramming to want to be liked by everyone (or most people); is a harder knot to unravel than I had previously thought. In many ways, I believe I have what is called a polarizing personality. It wasn't something I intended in any way, shape or form to have but as I do an inventory of my life and relationships I find that either people like me a lot or basically just hate me or want nothing really to do with me. I suppose I have a large brushstroke of people who are lukewarm but I have come over the years to realize that the toxic traits in myself that I continue to work towards uncovering or better yet evolving past really do tend to alienate people that I once honestly would have gone the distance for. I think it's my tendency to over commit the...

The Foodie Review = Week Ending 08/29/20

FINDS After trying two flavors I have to admit I cannot say enough good things about Simple Creations Seasoned Beef Ribeye Steaks available at Aldi's. We've now had the chop-house seasoning and the roasted garlic and herb seasoning; and all steak cuts were under $5.00. So I could get 3 for each of us (each one is a single serve); for $15.00 in total as opposed to $15.00 for probably 1 rib eye most places. Mind you I want to get a bougie rib eye at some point from a local butcher but this girl is on a hard core budget so I have to stay focused on cheap thrills. I've followed the instructions from Alton Brown for the most part from the episode: STEAK YOUR CLAIM. Here's the suggestions: Get yourself a Ribeye. Use a Cast Iron Pan 10 Inch - 11 Inch. When making steak, put oven at 500 bake. Put skillet in oven. Coat both sides of steak with kosher salt (I did not because they were seasoned already). Put pan on high heat for 5 minutes. Black pepper on both sides. Canola Oil a...

THE AMUSED LIFE BLOG

Search This Blog